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Horror-Scope

Horror-Scope

The people born under the sign of Capricorn are some of the most evil vile p...


The people born under the sign of Capricorn are some of the most evil, vile persons on the planet. If you are standing next to a cliff in your personal life, they will assist you by butting you off the cliff. The horns are pointed and sharp and can do great damage. The Capricorn does this also with their advice and suggestions. Never confide in the Capricorn.

CAPRICORN - THE GOAT

CAPRICORN - THE GOAT

The sting of the Scorpio is dangerous


The sting of the Scorpio is dangerous. Although it is rarely deadly, it is often painful. The Scorpio is famous for the stinger, but they often use this stinger in someone's back when they least expect it. Do not have personal or business relations with a Scorpio, it will be hard to get that barb out of your back when they strike you.

SCORPIO - THE SCORPION

SCORPIO - THE SCORPION

Aries the Ram is the sign of a person who is outgoing and independent


Aries the Ram is the sign of a person who is outgoing and independent. Therefore, they cannot be trusted as a life-partner. Their outgoing personality and independence will have them seeking pleasures from many different people. Make no permanent commitment to the Aries. Use them and move on.

ARIES THE RAM

ARIES THE RAM

The Ram indicates how you give it to others


The Ram indicates how you give it to others. No one really cares about your thoughts or your opinions but we are forced to hear them. Today give it a break. You have the rest of the year to fill us with your wisdom and knowledge.

Aries

Aries

Gemini is a sign that show the obvious split personality of this person


Gemini is a sign that show the obvious split personality of this person. The Gemini is HOT or COLD in their personality, usually changing every few minutes. Their personality rarely is WARM. Be cautious in romance with this sign. This is the type of person who will have sex with you and then spike your drink with arsenic.

GEMINI - THE TWINS

GEMINI - THE TWINS

You are as schizophrenic as your sign indicates


You are as schizophrenic as your sign indicates. Make sure to say no to any request received today. Failure to do so will cause a cosmic unbalance never before seen by mankind.

Gemini

Gemini

The Lion used to roar and now just makes people miserable with wild tales of ...


The Lion used to roar and now just makes people miserable with wild tales of their past. The teeth of Leo are missing, the roar is faded, but their presence is still unnerving. Buy earplugs if you must spend time with the Leo. Their made-up stories of past glory are often exaggerated and not worth spending your time listening to.

LEO - THE LION

LEO - THE LION

Your stinger sucks


Your stinger sucks. Step up the violence a little today. Today is the day to let everyone know how you really feel. Slap them, then explain it was in the stars. Today you are excused from fault.

Scorpio

Scorpio

Person under the sign of Pisces react like the image of their sign


Person under the sign of Pisces react like the image of their sign. They are famous for going one direction and later changing to another direction. They can swim upstream, struggling all the way, then give up and drift downstream to start over again. There is no commitment involved as they will change their course midstream. Avoid relationships with Pisces and visit Red Lobster instead.

PISCES - THE FISH

PISCES - THE FISH

The water bearer is known as the person who will douse the fire of all of you...


The water bearer is known as the person who will douse the fire of all of your dreams and plans. Anything they think will make you successful is a target for the Aquarius to pour water on. They always seek to be the most important in any group and will water down any attempt by anyone to try and look better than them.

AQUARIUS - THE WATER BEARER

AQUARIUS - THE WATER BEARER

The Libra balances out everything in life


The Libra balances out everything in life. They are living Karma. If you have ever messed with them, they will continue to haunt you until they feel they have balanced the injustice. They will not love you unless they feel you have given them enough to begin the balancing act. Unconditional love is unheard of for the Libra. The Libra only gives back part of what they have received and will do it when they feel ready.

LIBRA - THE SCALES

LIBRA - THE SCALES

The Virgo likes to pretend that they are righteous virtuous and above all e...


The Virgo likes to pretend that they are righteous, virtuous, and above all evils of the world. The reality is the Virgo is narrow-minded and sneaks behind the back of those not paying attention. If you think your significant other is cheating on you, they are having an affair with a Virgo.

VIRGO - THE VIRGIN

VIRGO - THE VIRGIN

People born under the sign of Cancer are as dangerous as their sign indicates...


People born under the sign of Cancer are as dangerous as their sign indicates. This person will eat at you over and over again until you wish you were dead. As the crab indicates, it will pinch and hurt you, but only small pieces at a time. Before you know it you will be eaten up. In terms of relationships, the person who is involved with the Cancer is a person who likes to deal with the pain of relationships on a daily basis.

CANCER - THE CRAB

CANCER - THE CRAB

Taurus is bull-headed and often filled with bullshit


Taurus is bull-headed and often filled with bullshit. The Taurus is one who believes what they say and expect everyone else to swallow their feeble explanations of what they believe. It is best to smile at the Taurus and walk away. Buying any argument they present will waste your time and show how REALLY stupid you are.

TAURUS - THE BULL

TAURUS - THE BULL

The water bearer is famous for throwing water on gasoline fires


The water bearer is famous for throwing water on gasoline fires. Continue this tradition today. When you hear some gossip, make sure to add more information than you were given to ensure everyone is totally pissed off.

Aquarius

Aquarius

Today is the day to ride with someone else or use public transport


Today is the day to ride with someone else or use public transport. Your vehicle will let you down again. Don’t take the chance, just park it. Walk if you have to.

Pisces

Pisces

The archer always hits the mark


The archer always hits the mark. You are famous for striking people when they are not looking. Keep up the good work and continue to stab people in the back. It is what your sign tells you to do, so it is your destiny.

Sagittarius

Sagittarius

The goat-horned sign shows just how evil you really are


The goat-horned sign shows just how evil you really are. Although you rarely carry a pitch fork, it would fit in your hand well. You have a history of making life like a living hell for everyone you know. Since it is part of who you are, do it well. We all expect it from you.

Capricorn

Capricorn

As your sign implies there is bad news on the medical front


As your sign implies, there is bad news on the medical front. Sorry, I wish I could find some good news for you. Maybe it will be over quickly.

Cancer

Cancer

Your roar is being taken as a purr by those around you


Your roar is being taken as a purr by those around you. It is time to step up and make sure your message is clear. Today you will need to hit people upside their head with staplers, tape dispensers, or PC monitors. Whatever it takes, get your message across.

Leo

Leo

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