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Barney Stinson's Quotes

I'm awesome.

Lily is working on a painting of Barney holding a sword. Lily: “I don't think your sword will fit.” Barney: “I get that a lot.”

Barney, describing his brother: “He's the awesomest, most best-lookingest, greatest guy ever!” Lily: “He's exactly like Barney.” Barney: “That's what I just said.”

Challenge Accepted!!

Challenge Accepted!!

I´m rockupied!

The World is going to come to an end tonight. Yes think about it. End of the World, Nostradamus, Notre Dame, Fighting Irish, Irish, St. Patrick's Day. This is it Bro. Bro-pocalypse Now... Bro-Mageddon

we're building a giant snowman in the park, it's gonna be LEGENDARY!! snow suit up!

You are the weakest link goodbye! The tribe has spoken

You are the weakest link, goodbye! The tribe has spoken. Please pack up your knives and go. Your work of art didn’t work for us. Your time’s up! I have to ask you to leave the mansion. You must leave the chateau. Your tour ends here. You’ve been chopped! You’ve been evicted from the Big Brother house. Your dessert just didn’t measure up. Sashay away! Give me your jacket, and leave Hell’s Kitchen! I’m sorry, you did not get a rose. You have been eliminated from the race. You are no longer in the running to be America’s Next Top Model. You’re fired! Auf Wiedersehen.

Nos vemos en 15 minutos y ¡Prepárate!

The only hot girls that troll the Internet for dudes are crazy, hookers or dudes.

[To Ted]: "Dude, ditch Tiffany! And join the Barnacle on the pharma-girl Free-for-All! Side effects may include: loss of clothing, rug burn, shortness of breath and sore abdominals the next morning, WHAT IN THE WORLD IS UP?!"

She had a nice face, her bootie was in place..but Barney don't chase!

"With Great Penis Comes Great Responsibility” - Barney Stinson

Barney Stinson always gets the yes.

Call me old-fashioned, but I need to have sex with a girl at least three times before I'll even consider having dinner with her.

I peed in an alley which happened to have a church which I did not see because I was drunk!

I always look drop dead, stone-cold amazing...unlike Marshall, who just looks dead, stoned, and cold.

barney: you dump a porn star...... friendships over

LEGEN... wait for it... DARY!

"Discouraging preamarital sex is against my religion"

My ear hurts so bad, I can hear it I can hear my own ear, think about that

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