Daily Dose of Sarcasm
The hardest part about a business is minding your own.
I trust you as far as I can spit, and that usually doesn't leave my chin.
That feeling in your chest? It's not love... it's indigestion
Yes, you are unique... so is everyone else
Do I want to go on a date with YOU? Let me quote Aerosmith: Dream On, Dream On
You did not wipe your mouth properly, there is still some bullshit
Roses are red, violets are blue, if I am so ugly, then what the hell are you?
Are you still talking? I've already stopped listening
Don't let your tongue get your teeth kicked out.
Don't take it so hard!!! It's a joke not a dick
You need to have a window installed in your stomach. Since your head is so far up your ass, you'll be able to see where your going.
The only advantage you have over me is you can kiss my ass and I cannot.
I don't hate people, I just don't get particularly excited about their existence.
- Do you mind if I smoke? - I couldn't care if you burst into flames!
If I give you a straw will you go suck the fun out of someone else's day?
Is that your face or did your neck just vomit?
You're the shinning lighthouse in the bay of stupidity.
A person with brain damage is smarter than you
You say it best when you say nothing at all.
If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I would be broke.